The weight of unresolved grief is explored through the emotional unravelling of its eponymous protagonist, Themba. Set in present-day South Africa, Themba takes us through the grieving process of a couple after a tragic accident that rocks their marriage.
A woman sprints across a hospital hallway to join her husband sobbing, covered in blood. She holds out hope that her assumption is not true, but her husband’s reaction confirms her worst fears: their only son is dead. At the funeral, Themba’s speech is brief, offering no eulogy but condemning hit and run accidents. Rather than let his grief out with a moving tribute, he emphasizes caution, warning that it could happening to anyone. This detail sets the film’s beat. Now that their son is buried, Mrs. Mfeka, Themba’s wife takes active steps to pry information out of her husband that would give details on what led up to her son’s death. Her efforts are in vain and Themba retreats drowning his sorrow in alcohol. Time goes by and this becomes a pain point in their marriage.
Nokuthula, Themba’s wife confides with her family seeking advice on how to navigate her husband’s behaviour and get closure for their son’s death. She tries therapy, grief counselling and prayer without any success. Themba on the other hand oscillates between indifference, trying to rush the process through routine and clearing out their sons memory and spending days brooding. After an intervention from Themba’s aunt, a past revelation unlocks the details that inform Themba’s behaviour. Unwilling to confront the past, Themba’s unravelling comes to a screeching halt when he avoids an accident that claimed his son’s life. It is only then that the couple begin the process towards healing.
The central theme of this film is grief. We are introduced to a character that has a fresh wound, the loss of a child. It is only later on that it is revealed to the audience that an older wound festers. While we cannot put a time stamp on mourning and grief, bottling up unresolved trauma can lead to unfortunate consequences. Shifting through Themba’s past and present, director, Luthando Mngomezulu, uses flashbacks to frame Themba’s interiority while he navigates his pain. His outbursts and erratic behaviour begin to make sense as the additional context articulates his feelings of guilt as well as how the two connected incidents inform his ideas of masculinity.
A typical marriage is defined as a partnership between two people. Tragic occurrences as these are especially integral in emphasizing the need for partnership as it is a shared experience. For the Mfeka’s their marriage is tested by Themba’s secrecy and unwillingness to take healthy steps towards addressing their son’s death. This leaves Nokuthula with the entire burden of managing his feelings and maintaining the emotional foundation of their marriage. This particular aspect also challenged defined gender expectations in heterosexual marriages, where the man is expected to be the pillar of the home, to comfort his wife in events such as these. Instead Themba completely fall apart and it is his wife who is the strong one taking charge. Themba is aware of this and adds on to his emotional state, lamenting his failures as a man, drawing comparisons from the two incidents and his inadequacies as a leader and protector. It is also quite revealing as Themba never seems to have male friends or colleagues that he can confide in. In fact, he seems quite isolated outside of his home and family. The film, having such a strong emotional tone, therefore reinforces the unseen emotional labour women endure in their marriage. This particular aspect made it hard for me to empathise with his situation. His stubbornness to intervention portrayed him as a selfish man who forces his wife to postpone her grief and mourning to soothe a grown man.
Driven by character, Nthando Mncube does his character justice, portraying a distraught man at the mercy of his guilt, trauma and ideas of masculinity. Likewise, it is a well-written story that honours the style and setting. Character-driven stories are typical in African storytelling, and given that plot-driven narratives are dominating the scene, this was a refreshing watch. Easy to follow and to form emotional connections to the characters’ journeys. Mbalenhle Mavimbela plays a fitting supporting character and brings out well the frustration of carrying her marriage’s emotional labour.
Focusing on character to explore the core themes in this film was a superb choice on the creative team’s part. Centring a man’s emotional state in our current context will encourage much-needed conversations on masculinity, emotional labour and partnerships within the home. Whether intentional or not on the director’s part, it is hard to ignore how the women in this story orbit Themba. While it is easy to argue that it is his story, and perspectives from the supporting characters would dismantle the structural logic of a character-driven story, you cannot ignore the glaring absence of male support in Themba’s emotional journey. This is reflective of our society and invites conversation on positive ways men can embrace vulnerability and build communities to better support each other. My takeaway on Themba is that, in an attempt to highlight a man’s emotional journey from guilt to self-acceptance, Themba may have further emphasised the imbalanced emotional labour taken on by married women.
This review emanates from the Talent Press programme, an initiative of Talents Durban in collaboration with the Durban FilmMart Institute and FIPRESCI. The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author (Michelle Abuti) and cannot be considered as constituting an official position of the organisers.